I CAN'T BELIEVE I DID IT AGAIN!!

Ok.....Here's the truth.  While this house on the lake is truly a God-send, and I am loving the view, I have come to the place where I want to go home.  The vacation has been nice, but I am ready to sleep in my own bed.  I really want to wear those tan dress pants that fit just right.  I want my broken-in, fit-just-right, Nike tennis shoes back.  I don't want to face the ten million decisions that are before me.  I don't want the pressure of making those decisions that will affect our daily lives for years and years to come.  I am tired of worrying about the money and hoping we don't come up short at the end of the project.  What if we pay thousands of dollars for siding and stone, only to decide the colors and design I picked turned out to be hideous?  Oh, if we could only go back to the way things were!!

Do I even sound like the same person who has been writing those blogs about the amazing things God has been doing in her life?  I know....shame on me.  I thought about keeping the ugly side of me a secret, and only blogging the good stuff, but I felt convicted to be honest.  A dear friend told me this week that she believes I have been called to be a blogger.  If this is how God wants to use me, then I must give myself to it wholeheartedly, and allow HIM to decide what is said here.

I admit, I have known people on occasion that have made me want to ask, "How in the world can you be that way?  How can you think that way?"  In fact, there are two cases in the Bible that have always puzzled me:

1.)  Even after God led the Israelites through the Red Sea, delivered them from bondage, provided for them in the wilderness......they still complained and wanted to go back to what they had before.  How could they?  After all they had witnessed....After being delivered and promised a better life?  How could they yearn for yesterday?  How could they keep from rejoicing?

2.)  Even after following Christ for three years, his disciples were unsure of his majesty.  They witnessed the most amazing miracles, and yet they would still doubt, and be overcome with fear.  How could they?  I would think walking in the very presence of Christ and being one of His closest friends would alleviate all things negative.

I judge them, and yet, here I am.....no different.  It has only been three months since God began this amazing work in our family.  We have witnessed miracles in our own life, both material, and relational.  Nothing can compare to that feeling of knowing He is at work in your life.  So, how can I look back and yearn for meaningless things?  How can I look forward and fear?

Here's the Thing:  I have not learned from past mistakes.  Once again, after God revealed the next small piece of the plan, I immediately took the reins, and began to work at making it happen.  I have lived on Pinterest and Houzz, planning every tiny detail of our new home.  I have subscribed to Consumer Reports and have access to research every item we plan  to purchase.  I worked the numbers a dozen ways to make sure everything turns out like "I" want it to.  I jumped right out of the box and took off running.  Of course, there is nothing wrong with due diligence, as long as I don't leave God in the dust.  I have to keep my eye on Him and really work at staying Hemmed In.  I found a sign years ago that says it well:

"Good Morning, this is God.....I will be handling all of your problems today......I WILL NOT need your help......So relax!  and Have a Good Day!!"

Dear friend, I pray that you find peace as you relax in the hand of the Father and let Him take care of it for you today!!